I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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