No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
