Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize