...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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