So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
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Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
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He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize