Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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