her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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