That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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