i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
