Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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