when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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