I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
