Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Boobs speak an international language.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
