R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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