i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I need a beard to bite.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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