no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I love having hate sex.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
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i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
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Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.