I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.