i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome