and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.