She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.