I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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