Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
