So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
