her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
