After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
well you can't waste a boner
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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