that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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