you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize