So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
