He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
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Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize