do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
