I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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