how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
