508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Mom said you looked used
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
