Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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