she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
