her vagine was all disorganized.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
