Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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