Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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