After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
