i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize