I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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