Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize