I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize