Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
