Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize