I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
