I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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