btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
