Swine flu. Run for my life!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
