i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
