We're like a lot better than the average bears
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She said her name was "party"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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