Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
