She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
