Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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