hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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