At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
