he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
