dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
