Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
