Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
