i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
