I need help removing her.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
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You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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